öJohnny Was A Deskman
It's been a long time since the last entry.
I wish I could blame it all on work - on being just too damn busy to write.
I could. It has been busy. Very busy. New gig keeping me working constantly. And we lost the net connection on the graveyard desk, so I can't post while on shift any more.
I could blame it on these things, but that would just be burying much of the truth in convenient excuses.
The truth is, I've been avoiding it, too.
Avoiding writing about Johnny.
Johnny was a deskman. He managed to make his escape back into the world just before I started this blog. The Tiger was his replacement. Johnny survived to reach veteran deskman status, and then he moved on, heading to school himself in computers and build a new life for himself - starting over again at 46.
Johnny was an easy going soul, though things were never easy for him. He was a former warrior in service to the country. His nose was broken in two places. He carried the marks of a hard physical life on him, but wore them with an easy smile.
Rough and casual, he was the kind of guy you could kick back with comfortably, who always had a friendly word and warm greetings, no matter any pain one might see in his eyes.
And there was pain. He constantly lived on painkillers, and was undergoing regular treatments to cope with the ongoing pain that wracked his body. But he never let that come between him and those of us around him.
All of us who knew him would agree - Johnny was a good man. One we were happy to know. And we all were glad to see him starting a new chapter in his life, even if it meant he had to leave us behind for now.
And then the Praetorians called.
They had his body and were seeking his next of kin.
The Mission was the last address anyone had for him. We were the ones who knew and cared for him in the last months of his life.
And we can't even find out what happened to him. They'll answer no questions - offer no clues. We only know that he is gone. Did he finally succumb to the pain and make his own exit from this life? Did someone else take it from him? Was there just some damn meaningless accident that ended his time on this Earth?
We don't know. We'll never know. We're not allowed to know.
They won't tell us a damned thing.
We only know that we've lost a good man forever.
Johnny was a deskman.
Now he's not.
And it's total bureaucratic bullshit that we're left to wonder how and why with no hope of answers.
We miss you Johnny.
You'll be remembered with love by those of us who knew you.
And we'll always wonder how and why you were taken from us.
Johnny McDougal
1960-2006
He rests free of pain now.
I wish I could blame it all on work - on being just too damn busy to write.
I could. It has been busy. Very busy. New gig keeping me working constantly. And we lost the net connection on the graveyard desk, so I can't post while on shift any more.
I could blame it on these things, but that would just be burying much of the truth in convenient excuses.
The truth is, I've been avoiding it, too.
Avoiding writing about Johnny.
Johnny was a deskman. He managed to make his escape back into the world just before I started this blog. The Tiger was his replacement. Johnny survived to reach veteran deskman status, and then he moved on, heading to school himself in computers and build a new life for himself - starting over again at 46.
Johnny was an easy going soul, though things were never easy for him. He was a former warrior in service to the country. His nose was broken in two places. He carried the marks of a hard physical life on him, but wore them with an easy smile.
Rough and casual, he was the kind of guy you could kick back with comfortably, who always had a friendly word and warm greetings, no matter any pain one might see in his eyes.
And there was pain. He constantly lived on painkillers, and was undergoing regular treatments to cope with the ongoing pain that wracked his body. But he never let that come between him and those of us around him.
All of us who knew him would agree - Johnny was a good man. One we were happy to know. And we all were glad to see him starting a new chapter in his life, even if it meant he had to leave us behind for now.
And then the Praetorians called.
They had his body and were seeking his next of kin.
The Mission was the last address anyone had for him. We were the ones who knew and cared for him in the last months of his life.
And we can't even find out what happened to him. They'll answer no questions - offer no clues. We only know that he is gone. Did he finally succumb to the pain and make his own exit from this life? Did someone else take it from him? Was there just some damn meaningless accident that ended his time on this Earth?
We don't know. We'll never know. We're not allowed to know.
They won't tell us a damned thing.
We only know that we've lost a good man forever.
Johnny was a deskman.
Now he's not.
And it's total bureaucratic bullshit that we're left to wonder how and why with no hope of answers.
We miss you Johnny.
You'll be remembered with love by those of us who knew you.
And we'll always wonder how and why you were taken from us.
Johnny McDougal
1960-2006
He rests free of pain now.